choose joy.

thoughts from a walk.

jumbled up and chaotic… here you go… 

• I miss home a lot. I want to sit and talk with my mom. I want a big comforting hug from my dad. I want to laugh with my brothers. I want to sit in the corner of my comfy couch. 
• My emotions tend to get the best of my when I’m trying to be honest about my feelings. 
• I am in a healthy, God-centered relationship. I need to keep this in mind. I have no reason to be afraid. 
• It’s not easy to love people. But I need to love them anyways. 
• God continues to speak to me in such a clear voice. I’m so thankful for that. 
• I can’t be everything for everyone.
• I’m tired. 
• I have the urge to get in my car and drive far far away. No one try to find me. 

To be honest, it’s quite silly. As if running away would be the best escape… 

because sometimes mayday parade, secondhand serenade, and chase coy are just good listens late at night. 

could be emotional and sad. but really, i just like their music. 

bon iver and rainy mornings. 

i’m quite happy. 

sunday afternoon thoughts:

• I’m quite exhausted from the past 3 days. I need to rest. 
• Serving = Ministry
• Kings Kaleidoscope. They do awesome renditions of hymns. 
• Falling more and more in love with the church I attend down here. 
• Pocahontas. Halloween costume for sure. 
• Giants Postseason. Oranger October. Lessgoo. 
• Losing my voice AGAIN… 
• Inception still blows my mind. 
• Disney movie marathon is going to happen tonight. 
• I haven’t changed my nail polish color in over a week. Weird. 
• Frank Ocean’s music will never get old. 
• It’s getting somewhat colder here in SoCal. Thank you Lord. 
•  A new week begins tomorrow. Start afresh. 
• “Oh praise the One who paid my debt and raised this life up from the dead.”

enjoy the rest of your weekend sweet friends (: 

thoughts being processed.

my mind is in the midst of so many different things. i don’t quite understand why i’m even trying to put it all in words, but maybe it’ll help me feel somewhat sane. 

this weekend i fell in love with my Savior in a new way. i learned that i need to die to myself daily. a stranger told me i had a genuine heart of worship and encouraged me to keep singing. during retreat someone spoke over me that i was going to do mighty and amazing things, i have yet to know what those things are. i find it quite ridiculous how much i care about someone special to me, i also find it quite ridiculous that they don’t feel the same way. others care, but sometimes it doesn’t feel enough, as if we’re waiting for that one person and in that moment no one else’s care matters. why is that? i’m done allowing the devil tell me i was never worth it. good honest friendships are blessings, never taking them for granted. it’s okay to not be okay sometimes. music describes my emotions better than my words at the moment. i miss home. i miss my family. i miss peace in my heart. and through it all… 

God reminded me that i am precious to Him and the joy i possess is a gift.

i have yet to understand any of those thoughts written above. all i know is i need Jesus. always. every day. surrendering to Him daily. 

recently amazed by:

• how wonderful and unique each one of my girls are. 
• the fact that i’m still somewhat alive after the past 6 days. 
• the Lord, and how He trusted imperfect human beings to write the Word of God. 
• the deliciousness of a Mint Mocha Frappe from the Loop. 
• how interested I am in my classes this semester. 
• the contentment I have in not knowing what’s to come.
• how supportive my best friends are. 
• the work of my Father through and in the college I attend. 
• His love. always. always. always. 

11:30 p.m.

it seems like the mind enjoys getting clouded the later it gets at night. therefore the thoughts are written…

i’m enjoying the new r&b playlist i created on spotify, back to the warmth of good beats and sultry voices. i’m constantly checking my phone as if i’m waiting for words that won’t ever come. july 4th is coming up, on that day, a year ago i was in disneyland. not seeing someone for two weeks seems too long. i’m not sure what God is doing in me, but i’m continuing to trust Him. the church needs to love like Christ loves. i want to learn how to play the guitar. i’m in dire need of a long hug. i miss my girls. running away to a far distant place seems so appealing right now. i have such a strong care for someone. 

amidst a process that i’m sorting through. learning as i go along. God is faithful. 

time to sleep? ha. maybe. 

5 facts? Okay, sure(:

tag! you’re it! state 5 random facts about yourself & then go to 10 other blogs and tell them they’re it! :) 

supposedly I’ve been tagged so… 

• I love any type of word games. crossword puzzles, scrabble, etc. 
•  I must have the number on the volume of any electronic device to end in a 0 or 5. 
• My favorite sports to watch both live or on tv is basketball and baseball. 
• I am left handed, but besides writing, eating, and brushing my teeth I do everything else with my right hand. (throwing stuff, cutting something with scissors, hitting a volleyball)
• I have never broken a bone in my body or have ever gotten stitches. 

If you want to know more, knock yourself out and head to my ask box. (: 

“remember that one time you were in love with that one guy and he ended up breaking your heart?” 

why yes. i do remember. probably one of the worst experiences to ever go through. but we are human. and i’m pretty sure i’ve broken a couple hearts myself. we’re not perfect. 

my advice: enjoy being single. it’s good for the soul. 

late night rambles.

i want to write so much. there have been so many things i’ve wanted to put down, but no time to do it. so here are my late night rambles that occur every once in a blue moon. 

this week is almost over. my patience has been tested, but it’s work and it’s making money. so worth it. mighty morphing power rangers is one of the best tv shows created in the 90’s. the sunshine has been refreshing. you are my brother and i love you. my parents are incredibly wise. i’m dying all my hair this saturday. stay tuned folks. my future husband will love my tattoo if i convince myself to get it. i’m determined to buy a car this summer. loans, money, scholarships, tuition. boo finances. OKC Thunder is a fantastic basketball team. time is flying by. i’m growing up. hello, adulthood. i’m doing this the right way, unlike you. let’s love like the Lord loves. i pray that i will one day be a strong loving mother.

now be still. 

sweet dreams all. 

10 more days.

till I’m home. 

this week has been busy, but I’m surviving. i like when my older brother checks in with me. golden spoon is one of my favorite frozen yogurt places. my professor is preaching about John 15, reminds me of my high school graduation. pleasantly fell asleep to rain last night. i’m anxious, but not worried. i’m almost done with my freshmen year of college. time is flying by. the Lord deserves all the glory. always. love can be complex. i am humbled by His majesty. friendships go through seasons. patiently waiting for him. i don’t know the future, but God does. the beach is calling my name. disneyland will happen before i go back home. i am blessed constantly.

Jesus is sufficient. My identity lies in Him. 

Take a glance with me.

I pictured something much more different. I pictured a friendship. I pictured simple conversations. I pictured a smile. I pictured a wave hello. I pictured selflessness. I pictured laughing. I pictured humility. I pictured a hug. I pictured healthiness. I pictured security. I pictured growth. 

I daydream a lot. I need to face reality already, no matter how much time has passed.  

Mind wanders.

You know those morning where you wake up and you feel like your mind just wandered to a jillion different things? (and yes, I know a jillion isn’t an actual number. Bear with me.) 

This morning was one of those mornings. Wandering thoughts back to my past, my current place, and what my future lies. Thoughts about people and situations. Thoughts about where I was exactly a year ago. Thoughts about conversations I wish I had. Thoughts about how far God has brought me, and continues to bring me. And in the midst of it all, I realized I’m here. I’m okay. I’ll be getting better. This time home has been a bit rough. I hate how much I allow my mind to think of certain things, but like I said… It’s getting better. 

Nope, nothing profound in this post. But I haven’t written in a while… so there ya go. 

Random/jumbled thoughts, because I’m exhausted.

I honestly couldn’t write something profound because my mind is all over the place. 

This week was crazy. I never wrote so many papers in my life. I’m surprised I’m even able to put down my thoughts in this post right now. Last night’s halloween party was fun. I’m so blessed to be growing in my relationships with the young women of God here at school. I’ve officially been told by 5 people that I should be a counselor, I do like the thought of that. I’m in the process of becoming the woman of God that He has called me to be. Today is homework day. Worship is what kept me sane this week. I broke my soda and candy fast yesterday. I made a wise decision this week, I’m proud of myself. I miss home. I believe my singing is getting better, makes me happy. The holidays are coming up, I’m going to make the best of every moment. I’m craving a pizookie and a peppermint mocha from starbucks. I NEED to go to disneyland again. “I miss you.” texts have made me smile. 

I guess I should stop this rant of thoughts and do some homework. 

adios(: